Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
