For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize