this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
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No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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