sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
