so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
