man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize