i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
