it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
