so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
