Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
