I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
