Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
