dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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