he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
