You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
