I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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