I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize