The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
