I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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