Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize