We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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