oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
