I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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