worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
