Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
