It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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