I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I booty called her while she was in labor.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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