Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
