2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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