I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
