Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
