he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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