That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
