I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish i was in the wii world.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
