Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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