I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
