Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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