Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize