i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
