Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
