I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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