What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My penis needs a shock collar
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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