I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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