absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
