I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
