GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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