Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize