i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
