I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
