the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
