It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hippo gnu deer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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