so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
