kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize