Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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