I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Randomize