yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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