it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
