Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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